Sunday, May 30, 2010

Alleged mastery

Played shuttle badminton after a long time. They say exercise releases endorphins. May be that's the reason I feel elated. It's not easy to ignore the love for the game irrespective of whether I win or lose. The love for a skill comes not because it's sophisticated, rational or any other reason I would probably offer for the sake of reason. One likes a skill because he thinks he is an adept at it. I don't like anything I don't master. Its the ugly truth about me and perhaps some others like me. Maybe I will like something that I am in the process of understanding, regardless of the pace and duration of the process, in the belief that 'that something' will be satisfactorily understood some day. Talking about pace, duration...
One is curious only as long as he is in the process of absorbing something. Be it a book or music. Once he is done with the process, then hovers the triumph of having learnt it. He is its master which doesn't mean that he has learnt it completely or that he has learnt it the way that the manufacturer (purposely avoided 'creator' to prevent inadvertent conception that the word refers to God. 'Manufacturer' refers to somebody like you and me in the real world, not in fantasies)thought it ought to be known. It only means that he has grasped it to his satisfaction. And following the triumph of knowing is a persistent nagging restlessness. If the triumph were to last longer he wouldn't learn anything new.
Strangely(?) and equally sadly it applies to relationships too. There is this arduous enhthusiasm until one knows somebody. Then he delves in the comfort of having known somebody in a way that it comforts both. And lo! There it ends. This is the rational pattern in which things are supposed to be. But we know this is't so. And why? because relationships are the embodimentsof irrationality.